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Oct 22, 2011

Give me a smile... ;)

Need to calm myself now
Need to cheer up myself now
;D
Jom dengar my honey sing for me k!
Hehehhee
:P
Eng trans :
Give me a smile, 
Don't be sad It's going to be alright. 
Don't shed a tear 
The song that I am singing now 
I hope that it can bring you a bit of comfort 
Give me a smile, 
Don't get hurt It's going to be alright,
although you are going through a hard time now 
Time will pass 
Everything will look up again 
Give me a smile 
I am right here by your side I love you, 
can you hear my heart? 
Close your eyes 
No matter what, 
I believe you I am always here for you 
Give me a smile, look into my eyes I love you, 
I have always been looking at your heart 
It has never changed 
You can lean on my shoulders 
Take a rest, 
Give me a smile. 
I am here for you, me who believes in you 
always and forever.

A lovely friend said to me yesterday, 
" Pipah x rse lg mcm mane skitnye bercinta, rsenye sakit sgt smpai x leh describe..."
Btul!
Ak x rse lg mcm mane sakitnye.
Tapi untung la spe yg da rse sbb 
Allah nk tnjuk pd korg awl2 susahnye bnda tuh.
Allah nk tnjuk 'know-how' bnda tu.
Allah nk ajr org tuh jd kuat n bleh lalui ap2 jek lpas ni.

Sayang kan Allah pd korg??? :D

Ak plak, x rse pown lg bnda tuh n ak x taw klu ak kuat nk lalui bnda2 tuh.
Bnda2 stress biasa pown x kuat, inikan plak sakit yg x leh describe tu.
I'm too scared to go through a relationship 
that i'm afraid to love people.
I'm even afraid to open my heart to people coz I'm afraid to b hurt.
That's how weak I am! ;(

So, my lovely friend dat I love so much!
B strong!!
Allah LOVE U SO MUCH!
*Jeles* 
Sbb tuh sume ni jd skrg...
I love u! 
;D


p/s : Ak nk kna cheer up bkn sbb putus cinta yek! :P
Ad masalah negeri + negara skit. 
:D

Oct 20, 2011

Letter to Tuan Hati :)

Simpan bnda ni dlm draft xtaw da bape lame, sbln lbeyh kot!
Bru ade 'tenaga' nk tekan 'publish post'
:P

Pernah x korg terigtkn seseorg secara tiba2??
Erm... 2 3mnggu lpas or myb da sbulan lbeyh kot ak terasa bnda nih!

X tahu knape, wajah die dtg saat ak berdoa lepas solat.
Kadang2 tiba2 tringtkn die time ak tgh wat bodoh. hehehe 
Sape tuh??
Tuan Hati
Sape tuh?
Cri sndri!
Hehehehe

Kisah lama n pnjg critanye.
Heeeeeee
Rsenye da lama kot x trpkirkn bnda ni
Walaupown kdg2 dtg perasaan bersalah yg ak simpan, tp xdek sekerap skrg.

Tertanya2 plak knapa...
Tnya dri sndri
Rndu ke kt die
*geleng2*
Abis tuh knape cmni??
*Angkt bahu*
Huhuhuh tak tahu...

Tnye seseorg yg myb lbeyh tahu bnda2 cmni
Katanya...
Myb...
"Dia teringtkn kita kot or dia dlm susah n pnggil2 kita dlm diam. Doa2knlah die."
Aish... Btul ke?
I prefer da first one coz I dun want him to b in trouble
But then, i seriously laugh at that coz i would never think dat he would think about me anymore...
Herm... ntah la.
Xpelah!
Huhuhuhu

Mungkin rasa bersalah yg ak bawak sorg2 slama ni dtg blik kot.
Myb sbb tuh terigt2kn die
Yeap, RASA BERSALAH

Secara jujurnye, x dek la ak jelas sgt knape ak rse bersalah
Tp bila da rse bersalah tuh, mesti ad salah ak buat kt die
kn?!

Btul! 'Jwb sndri lak... :P'

Byk salah ak pada die.
Salah ak sebab x hargai apa yg die beri
Salah ak lukakn hati die

Ya Allah, kalaulah Allah bg kekuatan pd dri ak ni.
Da lama ak minta maaf terus ngan die.
Tapi, ak x mmpu.
Ak fikir knape nk susahkn hdup die skrg
Knape ak nk kacau hdup die skrg?
Sedangkn hdup die bahgie aje... :)
Myb ak yg terlbeyh pkir kot. 

Myb u won't come across this blog or even this entry
Myb u won't remember da old times or even me
But I have something to say to u...
May Allah send this apology to u n soften ur heart to forgive me
=)

Tuan Hati!
I'm sorry for everythng dat I had done to u
I'm sorry for not appreciate everythng dat u had done to me
May ur life become better n happier!
*I bet u r! =P*
Kalau masa bleh dputar... I would treat u better 
Tapi masa x bleh dputar.
So, I hope Allah will treat both of us better.
=D 
If it's fated, nothing can change dat.

p/s: Haaaiiiiinnng! Brg2 dlm kotak kesygn sume x taw duk mane dah! Kes hdup pndh randah la nih! =(

Oct 15, 2011

Sayunk!!! I'm hurt when u r hurting...

Felt like crying when u crying in front of me.
But I can't cuz u r crying... sorry syunk...
If i could fly to u rite now
I WILL!

Why u want to b hurt again?!!!
I love u so much dat i became such a bad friend at that time
Cuz I'm asking u to let go someone dat u love...
I'm sorry....

I juz love u so much dat i felt like 'cekik2' him rite now!!!!

Herm... it's ok.
Anything happen after diz, i'm still here with u
Do something dat u think would b da best for u.

U have to b strong k! 
U have me if u lost thousand people.
Remember dat!!!
Dun b sad!!
Xnk nangis2 da!!!! 
B urself again! Da old u dat i miss so much!!!
*Dark circle ko mkin bsar pehal??? :P *
hhehehhehe

I miss u so much dat i felt like crying when i see u sleep through skype.
T_T

Hahahhaa
Lawak la kte, duk same2 dlu pown cmnih
Duk jawh pown skype smpai ttdo...
:P

p/s: Abaikn muka kerek ku yek! :P

Oct 13, 2011

RoofTop Rant! :)

Aish...
Nk ngadu...
Rse2nye kn, mak n ayah still anggap ank pompuan die ni dak kecik ag kot...
T_T

Bkn sdeyh sgt... heeeeeee tipo!
Sdeyh jgk kdang2, tp pkir2 blik...
Betul jgak ap diorg pkir.
Diorg syangkn ank2....
:D

Tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Geram nk ckp ank die ni a bsar da!
Da bleh buat bnda sndri
Nk berdikari brgerak sndri2

Pkir2 blik, mak ayh dri kecik ajr kitaorg brdikari...
Sanggup suh ktaorg naek bas or even plane tnpa parent.
Tapi bila da bsar ni, ase cam diorg x prcye lak.

Trigt plak time nk g Besut bln 7 dolu.
Klu ikotkn da lme da ayh x bg sbb xnk bg naek kereta sewa sorg dr Machang ke Besut.
Sampaikn die snggup p hntr smpai Besut.
Geram jek time tuh.
Bkn x bertrima kasih tp rase mnyusahkn.
Kalau ikotkn, bleh je pegi sorg.
X suke btol bile da kna mnyusahkn nih!

Bknnye ank die ni x penah jln sengsorg.
*Hobi kot jln sorg2! hehhee *

Dolu2 x trasa bnda ni sbb x reti nk jln2.
Bila da bsar, 
mnat plak nk p jln2 nih, 
bru terasa.... 

Aish... klau la diorg pham mnt ank die yg sorg nih!
Tapi nk mrh kt dri sndri gak!

Afifah!
Awak tuh prempuan!
mgada kn nk jln2 sorg2?!
Jalan plak sesuka hati sesedap rse die jek!
Dr ats gunung smpailah dlm air tuh ko nk jelajah!
Xpatot2.... 
 dok umah aje la Afifah.....

T_T

P/s: Sape ad tips nk lmbutkn hati mak + ayah??? 

Oct 6, 2011

Without A heart! :)

Somebody asked me is it so hard to tell that u r sad or anythng?? 
Erm... Lme jgk mncri2 knape ak cmni ek?? 
Then I found this song! :)

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying...

I'm without a heart, I don't have a heart
So I wouldn't be feeling pain
Everyday I talk to myself, and put myself under a spell
But even so, I keep shedding my tears
( People build wall to protect themselves n diz is how i protect myself, teach myself to not hav heart. B cool! :P )

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying,
when I'm laughing like this...

I'm without a heart, I don't have a heart
Again today, I can see through your lies
My heart is in so much pain, I'm begging for your help
How can I smile in times like this?

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying,
when I'm laughing like this...

I'm without a heart, I can't be in pain
I'm without a heart, I can't be in pain
Let's just laugh, just laugh, just laugh
Please, please let's stop crying now...

Sbnrnye lyric die pnjg agi.
Ak cut2 yg mne yg x brkenaan sbb lgu ni tuk org putus cinta.
Eden x putus cinta! heheehe >.<

It is exactly who I am! :)

Kdg2 bile sdeyh2, susah sgt nk jmpe org.
Ase x nk jmpe org, nk duk sorg2. 
Tp ak xleh duk sorg2 sbb ak taw ak akn sdeyh ag.
So, i prefer to have people around me n not talking about it
n laugh. :)
Sometimes i prefer to b alone n sleep! :P

As much as i hate people ask me why i'm sad,
i love someone juz ask me why i'm not smiling.
I would instantly smile! :D
But u know, i won't say why... :P
Tgk mood la nk cter ke x. :) 
Hehehe pelik kn???
*pompuan mmg pelik! hehe*

Juz like the 1st verse, 
ak tkut klu ak ckp sdeyh, ak tkut air mata mngalir.
Sbb ak jnis pkir, ap2 yg jd pd kta smuanya mindset.
Klu mindset kita positif, everythng would turn out well.
Cube la try, pg2, bgn2 je tdo, trus pkir
"mlsnye hri ni"
Tgklah, ari tuh konpem korg mls smpai mlm.
Klu pg2 pkir positif, senyum2 n pkir 
"today's gonna b fine! :)"
Korg akn rse smuanya smooth jek even ad mslh sana sni.

Tp manusiakn mrncg aje.
Allah SWT yg control hdup kta.
Akn ad bnda brlaku d luar kwln kta.
So, time tuh dri sndri kna tntukn
Nk bnda tuh turn out well 
Or u want it to turn out hell.
:)

Prnh x pkir, knape ad org tnang ajek, tgk muka pown tenang ajek even ad puting beliung ribut petir?? 
Sbb mereka brpgang pd Tuhan!
*this include other religions*
Why people chose to have religion??
Cause they want to rely on something that will make them stronger n help them to b stronger.
They would feel they r not alone when they sad or happy
cause they r not alone.

In Quran, Allah said
"Indeed, those who submit themselves absolutely to GOD alone, while leading a righteous life, will receive their recompense from their Lord; they have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.[2:112]"

Ni lagu asl, siap ngan translation. Sape2 x mnat kpop myb x suke kot. 
Nice song! :) 
*suke mksd die*

p/s : This post is a reminder to me to teach myself to open up to others a lil bit more... :) n remember that i'm not alone.
I have Allah by my side n my loved ones! :D

Oct 2, 2011

CinTa ItU :)


I really want to share this here... :D

During Ramadan, I spent most of days at my grandma's house dat i lovingly called 'MA'
I would say dat those days r days i miss da most
I found peace juz by looking at her face
n hearing her voice
Dat face dat i would dare to say such a beautiful face
I think I can feel something 
whenever i look into her eyes
She's missing someone

Every nite, she would sleep only juz a few hours 
Woke up early and prepared us sahur
Then you would hear her voice reciting the Quran echoed in the house
I love dat moment so much...

2.00 a.m 
30 august
Dawn of Eid for 2011
She woke up early again
I asked her why
She said she couldn't sleep
End up prepared nasi dagang for the Eid next morning
I felt a lump of emotion in my throat at dat time
Suddenly i felt sad
'She's missing ABAH'
Dat's wat i'm thinking 

I end up sit beside her and watching her 
She's preparing nasi dagang for us
A tradition for her n us
A 'religion' to her since she married my late Abah ( My late grandpa )
There's silence between us
Without words i just sit there n helping her whatever that i can
But I end up went back to sleep
While she's cooking till morning with my mother later

If Abah is there
She would not be alone doing all that
She would have someone to nag her
To help her
*my late grandpa was a great cook!! :D*
She would sleep tightly in his arm at night before Eid
She would not get up dat early
Someone would make her smile on Eid day
I miss that....

Looking back
I never heard his name out of Ma's mouth after he's gone
I never saw her tears
But she's become someone dat love to kept old things even they're broken
Old cupboard dat Abah build for her is still there
His kain pelekat n kopiah is still there 
Even I think, his smell is still in their room

I want to have dat kind of love
Pure love between Abah n Ma
They are like match make in heaven
Ma was 16 when they married 
She was a petite chinese malay girl and Abah was a police officer
Abah is a strict n loud person
Ma is such a sweet n softspoken person
She would prepare anything that he like
He would help her in kitchen
He would prepare anything that she need in the house
A cupboard, chair, a room, a store hut
Everything is for her comfort

Truthfully
I miss him too
When he died
I'm not there
I cried so much when my mom told me through the phone
Two death in one day
My Abah n my Ayah Su

As my family flew back to Kelantan
I'm in Kuching.
Left with my brother across the sea
I don't even know where's their graves at that time

I cried so much that i can't even talk to anybody
Then the next day
My tears stopped
N I never cried about him again

But seeing Ma's face
Make all memories with him come back
His teases to me
His yell n nags to me
His face when he cooking n gardening
I miss that
I'm regret to not have chance to see his face n kiss his forehead
chance to apologize to him
T_T

Ya Allah, tempatkanlah dia di tempat orang2 yg beriman dan tmpt org2 yg Kau kasihi... 


I want to grow old with someone
Not two or three
Just one man dat willing to grow old with me

Is it so hard to have dat??
To loyal to a person throughout your life?

Seeing them, I get that
Marriage is not about you marrying a person for your own good
It's about marrying a person's life for you n her/him

Everything is Allah's fate
He prepared everything beautifully for us
I hope I would get the best that He prepared for me...
Amin... :)



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