i can say this now....

Now i can say this.... 

For a long time i kept it inside...

But now, finally i can say this cuz now i can understand everytng...

After everyhtng happened for the last few months, i'm actually not only lost my study,

but i lost my precious frens....

My immature thought made me doing all dat....

I ran away from people as if they r da one dat cause everyhtng...

I'm sorry...

Part of me regret for everythng dat i've done cuz i hurt them

i hurt their hearts... 

i left them without any words n confusion...

Part of me not regret it cause i think dat's what i should do at dat time

So that i don't hurt them anymore

So that i don't burden their life anymore

So that my heart not hurt anymore than what i already felt at that time...

I remember dat time, i cry my heart out like i never been before...

At dat time, i don't know what's hurt the most.

Either the fact dat my future had been thrown away by people 

or the fact that

neither my frenz were there when i need them da most

At dat time i think

'Ah... I really live my life awfully before this...

I treat them not good enough

I'm not a good fren to them....

I'm really not a good person...'

I blame myself....

Yes 

It is my fault

It's my fault for asking n demand more than they are...

They r like that n dat's sumting i can't change

As a gud fren, i should b da one dat understand them...

They r a good frens

Very good frens

They want to help but they don't know how n end up left me there...

I'm da one dat not trying to open my heart to them....

Tonight, last nite i'm here...

After a long time of no words between us, i'm trying to fix everythng...

My prayers had been answered.

I kept asking Allah all this time...

'Ya Allah, juz let me do this n fix everythng before i left here....'

Alhamdulillah...

 Eventhough i doubt it, Zara said to me

' Grab this chance to fix everythng n left with calm hearts n start a new life after this.

So that u don't left any scars on ur heart... B brave!'

The starting was so awkward dat i don't utter a single word.

I'm alone there with them...

My heart felt stuffy!

Finally, i said to myself

' Juz act normal n nothing happened b4...'

N IT IS...

Myb da scars is there, but atleast i don't made them felt uncomfortable...

Eventhough i can't even look in their eyes...

Every secs n mins i'm with them, 

i felt like crying... Even when i'm laughing... My thoughts on everythg dat happened b4 kept popping in my brain...

*missing da old times...*

 aiman, ja,  faz...

I'm sorry for being such a bad fren to you

Sorry for being such a burden to you...

I'm sorry...

It's my fault... i'm sorry....

I luv you guys n i hope everytng gonna b fine...

good lucks n please b good n live a good life...

Tomorrow i'm gonna left u guys without saying gudbye...

I think dat's da best for now.... 

Hope this frenship may last forever...

InsyaAllah....

A vid dat Aiman share after our outing today... 

Besh! Sbb ad upin ipin! hehehe nice song... :D